


high school shouldn't be this bad

by youngerdrgrey



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Eleanor's a Trash Bag, F/M, Sexual Assault Mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 23:00:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9464357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngerdrgrey/pseuds/youngerdrgrey
Summary: high school auwherein Eleanor wants to top the bad list at the good school and her not-friend Trevor helps her out





	

**Author's Note:**

> written for day 19 of 30 x 31 writing challenge, prompt: high school au
> 
> .
> 
> Mention of (false) sexual assault accusation and public sex, but nothing's explicit. I do not condone any of Eleanor’s actions.
> 
> .  
> idk what this is other than a look at the good place as a high school

.

.

Despite having the worst parents possible, Eleanor still somehow manages to go to the good school nearly half a district over. The distance helps her out since it means she doesn't have to spend much time at home with her dad. She leaves super early, gets back in as late as she wants, and she's mostly just working up to the point where she doesn't come home at all. Plus, everyone at the school thinks she's weird/cool for saying she already hates them. Except for that jerkwad, Trevor, who gives her bedroom eyes when she sits at the same lunch table as him.

"Don't get any ideas," she tells him before slipping her headphones over her ears.

He rolls his eyes and talks around the mouthful of cardboard they call pizza. "You're the one coming over here. People will think you like me."

"I'd sooner die," she says, but she doesn't hit play on any music.

His eyes twinkle a little when they meet hers. But it's totally ruined since he says, "I could arrange that." Which, okay, is totally fucking weird, but at least him saying it means he's probably not actually going to kill her or try to be her friend. So she stays. For two weeks.

Two weeks of three sentence maximum conversations at the start of the lunch period and then ignoring each other for the rest. She spends lunch eating and preparing her excuses for her teachers. He spends lunch perfecting his tallies on the best and worst of the good school. He has this column in the campus newspaper. It's technically anonymous, but everyone knows that he's the one who ranks the best and worst people on campus. He puts do gooders in the worst category and assholes like him in the best one. She normally reads the notes and updates upside down while munching on her chicken nuggets, which is why she knows the very second that Eleanor Shellstrop tops the worst list.

"You've got to be kidding me."

He doesn't even glance up. "Not you, dirtbag. The other Eleanor. She single-handedly raised enough money to send like forty water wagons to Sprint."

"Sprint?"

He sighs. "God, and they say I'm the bad one here. You know, the place in like Minnesota. Or Michigan. The one with no water."

"Flint," she corrects. "And don't they have enough water? People sent stuff months ago."

"They ran out. The good Eleanor is sending more. What a saint." He moves someone named Tahani further down on the worst list. Then pauses with his pen in the air to look up at Eleanor. "You know what would make this even better? If you were on the good list.”

"I am." She's number twelve. The whole stealing another girl's prom dress and destroying it thing shot her up above trash dj Jason who got barbecue sauce all over another dude's turntables.

"I meant the top of the list. So both sides had your name on it. Come on, trashbag, wouldn't you like to be the best of the best?"

She could frame it. Point to it for always and eternity to prove that she'd done something with her life. An honor with cherishing, to be the absolute worst person in the whole school. "Fine. But you better inflate the points or something because I've only got a week to get up there before someone at this school cures cancer or something."

/

So she does a lot more bad things.

She pretends a teacher came onto her to get a grade raised, then uses the fact that he raised her grade as proof that he's bribing her for sexual favors. That alone's worth at least sixty bad points with an additional forty for propagating the myth that most people fake assault cases. (If she were a good person, she'd apologize for it, but the apology might fuck with her score at this point. She needs big ticket fuck ups here.)

She crashes a girl's quinces and turns it into her own party. Trevor wants her to make racist comments about the party, but she does have a bit of conscience that sparks when she hears that the teacher's on probation. ("See how they didn't fire him though? They really don't help us out at all over here.")

She even changes the desktop background on every computer in the library to be the same exact picture of Donald Trump smiling. But Trevor insists that she hasn't crossed the line from generic evil into something specific enough to earn the throne.

He says while leaning against good Eleanor's locker. "Something personal is what you need. A targeted attack."

She could fuck up good Eleanor's locker. Draw all over it maybe. Not a slur, that's too much bad karma for right now. Maybe just a good old fashioned dick drawing. But in permanent marker, or something even worse. Something that would really make Eleanor uncomfortable, like a white paint or --

"Bingo." Eleanor snaps her fingers and points straight at Trevor. "How committed are you to being the worst person you can be?"

"Less than mass murder but more than the Mens' Rights club that meets in the shop class."

She nods. "Unzip your pants. Quick. Come on, before the janitor comes back." Perks of being one of those sad kids with a bad family. A lot of the staff leaves her alone until they need to lock up the building. They should have a few minutes before another patrol, which is probably all a little jerkwad like Trevor needs in the first place.

He jumps at the chance, doesn't ask any questions, just unzips and whips it out in the hallway. She chooses not to focus on the smug way he smirks when she hesitates at the sight of him, or the pride in the raise of his chest. Instead, she grabs hold and figures that leaving him just before he comes will earn her even more points than smearing his jizz all over good Eleanor's locker. Plus, it'd serve him right. Leave him as unfulfilled and the rest of their senior class who expected a nice life over here and got nothing but shit. But hey -- she drops hold of him just as his face starts scrunching and his unnecessarily loud grunts draw a janitor's attention -- that's high school, isn't it?

/


End file.
